How to Get out of Your Own Way

So often people can be their own worst enemies. We can be overly critical, perfectionistic and hold ourselves to impossible standards.

Then, as a result of this attitude, we don’t take action.

I love how self-help guru Tony Robbins puts it:

“People always try to be perfect. That’s why they don’t start anything. Perfection is the lowest standard in the world. Because if you’re trying to be perfect, you know you can’t be. So what you really have is a standard you can never achieve. You want to be outstanding, not perfect.”

Author and research professor Brené Brown also isn’t a fan of perfectionism:

“Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”

Even when we take action, a perfectionist mindset still impairs us.

Amy McTear described it this way in her aptly titled article Perfectionism ≠ Self-Improvement:

“Perfectionism leads to withholding, disappearing and not daring too greatly… Genius cannot flourish under such conditions. Genius is born of risk. It happens when we are unedited in our engaging.”

So, what’s the alternative to perfectionism ❔

Glad you asked. How about…

That’s right. Daring to suck is the antithesis of perfectionism.

I first learned about the concept of daring to suck in a private concert by the Brothers Koren, two Aussie musicians who’ve opened for Pink, Coldplay, Bon Jovi, and Rod Stewart.

The concert also included the band inviting us, the audience, to co-create a song with them. 🎤

Yes, that really happened and yes, it’s a long story… which you can read in my article about how to conquer your perfectionistic tendencies by daring to suck.

Try it out and give yourself permission to suck in a situation where your failure wouldn’t hurt yourself or anyone else.

As Todd Brison accurately diagnosed in his article How to Stay a Creative Genius :

“I think somewhere along the way, we just forget how to suck.”

Daring to suck can free you from the shackles of perfectionism and it can allow you to…

This is where genius can happen. 💡

For instance, I’ve written about how the “I have a dream” speech became so special the moment Martin Luther King Jr. let go of his script and allowed himself to

“become a mouthpiece, a channel for the united vision of the hundreds of thousands of people who had gathered for the social change that was happening, and for the highest aspirations of this country.”

With all that being said, let’s move on to…

Grab a pen and paper. 📝Then, take a moment to go through the following process.

(If you want to get the most out of this or if you're afraid of getting stuck, get the "Taking Action Worksheets" and begin by filling those out.)

• Write down three things you love to do
  These should be an active thing (writing instead of reading, creating music instead of listening to music). For instance: "I love to write, speak in front of others and bake."
  
  
• Schedule at least 20 minutes of uninterrupted time
  For instance: "Okay, tomorrow evening I have enough time."
  
  
• Pick one of the activities from your list to practice daring to suck
  Make sure that there won't be any overly negative consequences if you end up sucking at this activity. For instance: "I'll choose writing. If my writing is really bad, I don't have to share it with anyone so I have nothing to fear."
  
  
• Do the activity and DARE TO SUCK
  Allow yourself to create something truly terrible. For instance: "Okay, so I'm completely at peace with potentially creating the world's worst draft."
  
  
• Observe what happens
  

To connect more deeply with your passion and purpose, get out of your own way. Once you set aside your fears, worries etc. and cooperate with what wants to come through you, you will often find yourself in a state of flow.

It is thus no surprise that writer Aldous Huxley stated that

“our whole effort must be to get out of our own light.”