How to Follow Your Own Path with Confidence

There are typically two challenges people encounter when they look at decisions through the “Yes Yes Hell No” framework:

1. They have a hard time noticing what their intuition is suggesting, and/or
2. their fear is “shouting” so loudly that they find it challenging to hear anything else (such as the quiet “voice” of intuition or the calm suggestions of reason).

Regarding the first challenge, the more often you consult your intuition, the more reliable it will become.

In terms of the second challenge, it generally helps to first listen to your fear as this can help it calm down.

Ye Chen also mentions a helpful distinction about the difference between intuition and fear: “Fear or negative emotion […] can express itself through a physical response such as aggressiveness, sweating, an adrenaline rush, or a racing heart.”

In other words, intuition and reason typically express themselves differently than fear. With practice, it becomes easier to tell these different perspectives apart.

With all that being said, let’s move on to…

Grab a pen and paper. 📝Then, take a moment to go through the following process.

(If you want to get the most out of this or if you're afraid of getting stuck, get the "Taking Action Worksheets" and begin by filling those out.)

• Pick a dilemma you’re currently experiencing
  Write down a dilemma situation and be as specific as possible. For instance: “I don’t know whether I should take this new job or not. I will earn a lot less money but it sounds much more exciting than my current job.”
  
  
• Write down the different options you have
  List all the different options you are considering in this situation. For instance: “Option A: I can take that job offer. Option B: I can stay in my current job.”
  
  
• Consult your fear
  On a scale of 1 (no fear at all) to 10 (panic attack!), how much fear does Option A bring up for you? For instance: “If I think about leaving my job, I feel really scared. Maybe that’s an 8 on that scale.”
  
  
• Consult your intuition
  On a scale of 1 (ugh!) to 10 (best.thing.ever!!!), how much does Option A light you up? For instance: “If I imagine walking into my new office each day, I’m so excited. It really makes me happy. I think it’s a 10!”
  
  
• Consult your reason
  Now that you have gotten feedback from your fear and your intuition, allow your reason to bridge the gap between the two. On a scale of 1 (worst.idea.ever!!!) to 10 (totally makes sense), how much does Option A make sense from a rational point? For instance: “So, I’m really scared about earning a lot less money than before but the truth is that I can make that work if I’m being financially prudent. Also, I’ve been considering leaving my current job for a really long time and I will probably always feel scared. Given that I have an offer right now that really appeals to me, I might just as well take the leap now. So, I think my reason is a 9.”
  
  
• Consolidate all the answers you have gotten for Option A
  For instance: “So, my intuition is a 10. That’s the first yes. My reason is a 9, that’s the second yes. My fear is an 8, that’s the hell no. So, I think I have my yes/yes/hell no-decision. I guess that means this would be the best decision for me.”
  
  
• If you like, repeat the process for the other options
  For instance, here’s an abbreviated version of what that could look like: “I feel a bit of fear about turning down the offer and staying in my job. So perhaps my fear is a 4? I don’t feel lit up by the idea, so my intuition is perhaps a 3? And my reason doesn’t think it’s a good idea either, so perhaps a 3 as well? I think that is a no/no/yes. Not very exciting and probably not the best decision I can make.”

If you want to create a life that is in alignment with your purpose and passion, follow your Yes Yes Hell Nos. By consulting your intuition, your reason, and your fear, you can take grounded “leaps of faith” that get you in the right direction.